After watching the movie "The Great Debaters" and going to visit a family friend out of state, I began to ponder on several things. Why are we, black Americans in such a crisis within our own communities? I was deeply inspired by the movie, that I saw it twice, once in the free premeires that was shown in my city and once in my hometown during the Christmas holidays. One of the most compelling things about the film was that it showcased black Americans as intellectuals and common people with a purpose. It was heart-warming to see that someone wanted to tell the story of intelligent black people who wanted to do the unthinkable. It was also compelling to note that one of thier arguments was about black students being admitted into predominately white colleges in the south. I am a proud graduate of one such school, The University of Florida. The University of Florida, based on what I have learned, was established some 154 years ago. Of those 154 years, black students have been attending the institution for the last 30 to 35 years. My graduating class in college was the first class in the history of the state of Florida to be admitted into state universities under the Talented 20 legislation. The Talented 20 was the new governor's way of getting around the notion of using Affirmative Action. The top 20% of minorities in each graduating class would have guarenteed admission into a state university. What is interesting about all of this is that inspite of Affirmative Action being taken away that year, our class had the highest enrollment of minorities in the history of the university and the history of the state. Do I believe that the state in turing over a new leaf and that Affirmative Action is no longer needed--no, but I do believe that the state and the world are slowly changing.
After being admitted to college, I have earned an English degree with a specialization in American literature and secondary education no doubt. Today, I am an educator myself. I am proud to know that I did something similar (on a much smaller scale) to the characters in the movie and I earned something that my ancestors fought so hard for me to have the opportunity to obtain. In a country where black Americans were not allowed to read and write, yet alone be admitted to white colleges or quite plainly earn an education, I feel honored to have done both. I teach English, one of the many things that my ancestors were unable to learn to read or write. While, it may be hard and some time tedious, I am making a difference. I also have the opportunity to promote the study of literature, much like my ancestors did in thier time. It felt good to hear black people reading and quoting things that I enjoy and have read in college. The movie, not only made me glad to be black, I was happy to be a lover of literature, to be female, to be an educator, and to be a lover of academics.
What is funny to me is the fact that somehow, we as people have gone away from this vision in so many ways. I am fortunate enough to have come from a home where both of my parents are college educated and are educators themselves. They too are graduates of predominately white colleges in the south, The University of Florida and The University of North Florida. While I believe that Historically Black Colleges and Universities definitely have a place, not only in history, but in the promotion of education in the black community, I find it strange that there is an unsaid predjudice among ourselves for people who do not go to or graduate from HBCUs. It is almost to say that one is not "black enough" if he or she does not attend an HBCU. I don't get that. If black people fought so hard to be educated and live among other races, why would another black person have anything crazy to say to another black person for attending a predominately white institution. This is also like the fact that children are often shunned in schools for sounding "too white" or in other words, being articute. Or even the notion of having an education, one is often considered to believe that they think that they are better than everyone else. I guess it is similar to the field negro disliking the house negro. I agree with Nas as he says in "If I Ruled the World," "It's elementary, they want us all gone eventually." I am not one to believe that everything is a conspiracy, but I do believe that we were somehow taught to hate ourselves and "love they wealth. That's why shorties yelling where the ballers at." In many cases we hate and distrust each other for that same reason. We as a people don't support our own businesses, we discriminate against each, and sadly we kill each other. What is going on or more clearly, who in the hell let the gate open for craziness and absurdity to come in?
In the song, "We Don't Dare" by Kanye West, he talks about how in America and probably elsewhere in the world, drug dealers do what they do just so that they can get by, yet children see this and see it as a means to get all they want and to make thier dreams come true. In America the average person knows that going to jail, especially in the state of Florida for drug charges can get you put away for a long time--possibly 20 years. It is sad, but our children and our people as a whole often do illegal things, not only to get by in a world where the cost of living is sky high, but to "beat the system." Often we do it to get a high from being the person to get away with crime in a system that openly doesn't justly support them or to get back at "the man." Even children are somehow subconsciously taught not to trust the police or white people as a whole. This mentality in turn often puts many people in prison because they may feel that they are above the law or they may fall in the trap of drugs. In all of this, I believe that an entire generation and in some cases part of our race is dying, not only in the physical prisons in this country, but in the mental prisons that we create for ourselves in our own minds and American society.
Sometimes, I get embarrassed by how we look in public or on TV, the way that we refer to ourselves, what we believe in and for ourselves, and the things that we value. A good example is the fact that I have two cousins one who won the lottery and one who got her deceased husband's insurance policy money. The strangest part of this to me was that neither of them taught to buy a home or to pay for thier children's college education, both bought cars! SUVs with nice rims! I didn't know what to think. Should I have laughed or shook my head?! (The question was rhetorical. lol) It is amazing to me that we do things for vanity at times or because deep within ourselves, we don't truly believe that we need or can even dream of more. Black people, I hate to say it, but particularly on BET, look worse when we are all over television sounding illiterate or looking a hot mess---AND displaying some of the worse talent. In the schools, I watch my student immulating these people and it makes me wonder if that is all that people of other races imagine many of us to be. Not only is GOD watching us, white America is watching us, and people all over the world are watching us. In a story that I read with my students about the diamond mines in Africa, I found it very interesting to read about an African boy whose dream was to get enough money to come to American because he believed that the African Americans were the rich ones in this country. He had seen images of rappers, actors, and athletes who had lots of "diamonds" and big homes. He thought that they had all the money and he believed that if he could get here he would be rich too. It is funny what his idea of success was. It is not of my own accord that I do this, but on the belief that there is always someting greater to achieve in this world. In order for us to "come up" or to love ourselves or to reach the correct standard and to begin to live the dream of Dr. King instead of letting it be deferred, we have to reconsider what we believe success to be. There are too many people who are concerned about the immediacy of the frivolous things before us, such as sex and money and we become trapped in the world of drugs, disease, and sometimes unplanned pregnancy. We literally forget about tomorrow and as a result, sometimes, our children and thier children struggle to break out of the mental prisons that they have been brought up to believe they live in. That is why being "so hood" is popular. As a whole, we think that if you are not from the hood, you are not credible, and in essence, not black enough. This is the exact opposite of what our ancestors invisioned for us. They wanted us out of the hood to become a population and generation of leaders in our society. I believe, however that this is another form of self-imposed hatred and/or black people wanting to hold each other back because we don't want to see someone else do better than us. Again, possibly, this is the field negro disliking the house negro menatlity. I'm not sure, but I refuse to be one who succombs to this notion or that forces it upon another individual. It is quite like the song, "Do you realize that you are a champion in thier eyes" and "Do you ever wonder what it all really means?" We have to understand that behavior is purposful and that we are destined to be kings and queens. Why do we have to live in mediocrity if excellence is always a choice?
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