When I was a little girl, just like any other child, I heard the story The Ugly Duckling. What is funny is that I never really thought so deeply about the concept until now. In working with children and talking to other educators, I pondered the notion of why we as black Americans have a distorted view of the world. We tend to look at academics and the wealthy and the educated and think that they are "bougie" or not for us. What makes me wonder about this is the fact that there have been so many people to die and to fight for our rights to have an education and not only that, we complain about why do "they" or white people always have to have the best jobs or the finer things. Academically speaking, I have an appreciation for education and I try my hardest to reach the highest level of academic excellence that I can possibly attain. For this reason, I have found myself in the same position as the Ugly Duckling. It is amazing how when one is doing the right thing and being true to him or herself and is strikingly different, others will not acknowledge that fact. As a result, sometimes the "ugly duckling" grows to believe that he or she may be inadequate due to a lack of acknowledgement or more importantly, a lack of encouragement. To put it more simply, when one is not of the status quo or of the norm, it is very easy to believe that there is something wrong with you. What is funny is the fact that just like the cliche' "30 is the new 20," normal is the new crazy. I happen the believe that it does take a village to raise a child, but if the village is crazy the children will be too. The average person or the "normal" person can be arguably and notably "crazy" as we live in a crazy world.
A good example of this is when I was little I remember thinking "what is wrong with me," particularly when I was in school. 2nd grade was the first time that I realized that I wasn't "normal." The program, Chapter One, from my understanding, was a program that helped students who had problems with reading and writing skills. In the second grade, it seemed everyone in my class would get pulled out of class to go to Chapter One, except for me and a few other students. At that point, I began to think that there was something wrong with me because I wasn't chosen to go. Now, knowing what I know now, it was a good thing not to go, but I felt weird because I couldn't do what other people could. This was the first time that I knew that I wasn't just a duck...I am a swan. Sometimes, even as an adult, I stick out like a sore thumb because I don't look or act like those around me. I have found it to be a struggle because I understand that it is a gift to be who I am ---it is a blessing to be tenacious, intelligent, and beautiful, but in a world where women like me are considered to be boring or simply not in style because I am not ghetto enough, or possibly striving for too much academically, it is hard, particularly when you want to have fun with like-minded people. When there are very few people who are like-minded with me, it can be hard to find good friends. I am, by no means indicating that I can't be alone or anything, but I am saying that it is both interesting and funny in a sense that some of the best people in the world can struggle with being "abnormal" because those around them are "ducks" and they want to be loved and understood as a swan.
To be continued...
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